Clearly she wears those short skirts and skimpy tank tops because she wants the d. and by d I mean vitamin d. she wants to soak up as much sun as she can. because revealing clothes are not an invitation for sex u prick
you sit down to watch the lion king with me. i point out that leafcutter ants do not live in africa within the first five minutes. you begin to realize that you have made a horrible mistake. i continue to point out every usage of a tiger’s roar in place of a lion’s. you are at the door, but it is locked.
im aiming for the “shes a badass and cute as hell but I wouldn’t touch her without asking” look
*passive aggressive mom dramatically putting away dishes and denying help*
one time i was swimming in a spring in florida and everybody started screaming and getting out of the water and i was like haha losers aint nothing in this water and so i climbed up on a rock to sit, but then the rock started moving and thats the story of the time i rode a manatee
Oh my GOD
My grandma bought my grandpa new pants and my mom asked him how they felt and he goes “like a cheaply made castle” and we were like what and he goes “no ballroom”